You’ve probably come across the phrase, “In trying to be a strong woman, I accidentally became Seyit Onbaşı!” if you’ve spent any time on social media. Most of us laugh at it and move on, but why would a woman become ‘Seyit Onbaşı’ in the first place?

To answer this, let’s take a brief journey back in human history. The transition from Homo erectus to Homo sapiens brought radical changes in human daily activities and physical structure. Homo erectus had a better ability to walk than modern humans, primarily due to their lighter bodies and brains compared to their advanced body shapes. When we say “better walking,” we mean it was more agile and easier. In contrast, our walking is more challenging due to our skeletons bearing the burden of heavy muscles and large brains.

With our “growing” brains, we moved out of caves and built cities, workplaces, rule-bound societies, and orderly, systematic structures. During these transformations, gender roles began to shift. Each Industrial Revolution (1.0, 2.0, 3.0, and 4.0) brought with it social and economic changes, significantly impacting labor markets and marking a turning point for female labor. It was during the Industrial Revolution that women entered the workforce as laborers. In today’s world, women have donned men’s pants and jackets, metaphorically grabbing the primitive ax of their hunter ancestors and working in “corporate jungles” to provide for their families. They’ve also faced battles on multiple fronts: societal norms, glass ceilings that block equal opportunities, challenges related to marital status, and the difficulties of motherhood, among others.

However, because women are often seen as the ones who “make a home,” they’re expected to “grit their teeth and bear it,” even if it means suffering in silence. Women have often had to fight these battles alone, sometimes without help, taking on tasks that should have been shared, and often sacrificing their femininity in the process.

This all happened while the need for men’s roles, such as those of the hunter-gatherer, was overlooked. In an effort to appear strong, or perhaps because they were raised that way, women who couldn’t ask for help and took on everything alone became more isolated, increasing the number and intensity of the challenges they faced. As a result, women who took on all the masculine energies lost touch with their true selves and became more like men. The hunter figure from primitive societies has now morphed into the modern woman. Despite the buildings we’ve constructed, we are still primitive cave dwellers, ignoring the woman’s essence—her fertility, caregiving, compassion, and spirituality.

Dear “Seyit Onbaşı” woman, remember: “It is OK not to be OK.” There’s no harm in asking for help, in being supported, in saying “I can’t do this,” or even “I don’t know how.” In fact, you must do these things for yourself! Stay true to your core, be yourself, be a woman!